[no title]

[i never let stuff from personal journals go. but, i wanted to share this.a short rant-style poem from me to God.... no title, despite the pictures' saying...]

Lord,

We need you now more than ever. I need you now...

Too many people are dying, too many have died. And I know that was the best thing for them, to go with you but still many of those people lord - they were young, they were my friends, it was too early for them to leave us. 

People are shooting. They shoot at any and everything and everyone. Cops are killing cops are killing blacks and whites and everybody. We don't even know who Heros are anymore. We can't recognize who's here to help for real or who's just another target spotter looking to knock a couple heads off. We need you. 

Lord, I need you. Although I haven't prayed as of late (I don't know what excuse to tell you for that, there is none) I need you. I need you to come live inside of my heart. You're the only one that can shield me from the hate, injustice, anger, murderousness, violence in my nation right now. God, I know the battle isn't mine, it's yours. You're the only one that is suitable enough to fight all of this, to put an end to all of this and to finally win the battle and conquer everything everyone has been facing. 

God, the French people - they need you. The Syrian refugees without a home - they need you. They need a place to feel welcomed and warm, and if bringing them into my country (America) is the way, then lord, I am with it. I know now that it was a fearful heart at first saying "don't let them in" but lord I think about it this way: if it was my family out there, in the third world, living in a war torn city / county / providence, I would want you to use people to intervene on my behalf. So lord, we need you to intervene on the Syrian refugees' behalf. If it's in your will to let them have a place to stay over here, my basement floor is even open. My mother, she'll understand. 

I can't sleep any longer knowing that I've upset you. But I wanna make it right, God. 

I want you to come back into my heart, forgive me, and start working through me to fulfill your plans... 

Uh, God, what exactly are your plans for my life, anyway? 

I never really paid attention to what YOU want me to do.

Is it being a cop? Because if not I can go to the police academy now and cancel that application . Is it the FBI? Because if that's not what you want me to do, I can cancel those dreams now, I wanna follow you, bottom line.

I wanna fight alongside you. 

I need you to live inside of my heart, I need your love. My world does. My city does. My state does. This great nation, RIGHT NOW, needs your love..........