ELI

Looking back on my past I'm like "yo how you make it?" Cause most my homies they jailed, or their lives were taken. Got me sitting at this round table, meetings with my lord. Every single day ask him "why you keeping me here for?" What I do right? Know I did wrong. But you still love me. Lord I just gotta know.... How can they stand to live happily? Guilt, The guilt hammering at my conscious part, Grief, the grief tearing at my heart, You loved me way before the start. Then that one event that made my world shift. I know of pain, but I never felt it like this. So severe, I heard they left the homie on the street. Shot to the heart, he laid in his blood where he went to sleep, for freakin' ever. Another death in the family, they ditched my big bro. Couldn't even make the funereal, hope he know I'm missing him though. Somehow he lost his life, even the cops don't know, so let me find out ill ride out a...

Dream chasing, hardly sleep though. I'm not self-made, I ain't Ross or meek. Peep; these words, and how they flow- deep, out of the depths of my heart in this cold world; Slow money, fast girls. Chalk lines by the "do not walk" signs. That blood money spilled, So they kill. Never told we meant for something other than ball or tryna get a deal, So we all try to rap or claim "ball is life" for real. That's real. Anyways to get a quick pay. But simpl-ay ... Some got it. And some missed it. To some of em' "rest in peace" Some of em' sit in prison. Hope you home soon. Those homies. And when they let you out, Got a couple forties then its back on the street. And you owe me. Bad cycles that be hard to shake. I love my mom too much; don't want her heart to break. That's why I like to thank God each and every day - that I'm still in his grace. Tryna stay in this place, h...

See how their love just ebb & flow; When you got money they want you close, When you're broke they wanna let you go. Whoa! In the blink of an eye; They hate you when you're living, Then they love you when you die. That's how the world goes. And it's constantly turning. So that means it's a cycle, Bridges will always be burning. It is - the most unfortunate truth, I'm forced to live with. In my youth, seen some things that I would never forget.... -EP

I do not need mirrors. I need an oxygen tank. I cannot breathe when I'm thinking about you, and I don't wanna see myself like this. Like this. This facade i put on. When you're around. This "happy place" I pretend to be in just so you won't see me frown. Afraid because a man should be a man and shouldn’t cry is what society told me. & you being around almost twenty four seven seven days a week three hundred and sixty five days per year is proving that society lies. Society lies but I still fall for them. This poem should've drowned with my feelings for you but I can still read the smudgy ink. Photographs in my mind, they aren't real I don't think but I still wish they were; memories of us. Summer after summer. A smokescreen of lust mistaken for love. On my part: that was stupid of me. Believing you would ever see what I saw. Fuzzy vision. Hard heart. Dried ink. What do these have in com...

She gives me butterflies, She laughs like a goddess. Her mind - like a diamond, Her vibes are like massages; When I had a rough night.  Long trip, rough flight.  Bags on my eyes. She could be with any other guy... But she chose me,  And like a rose out of the concrete - I grew- on her... I grew on you, But never really knew you.  You were perfect on the outs,  I was just tryna get in you.  Not IN you but within you; You're mind babe.  But I just thought that I was wasting all your time babe.  So I ain't even bother,  And let you get away.  And that was the worst girl,  You know what you've done to me?  -EP

[series:] Poems in Water Vol.1 “Blessing That Hurts [Nostalgia]”   To make beauty out of pain it damns the eyes, NO – DAMS the eyes, See how they overflow? See how our hearts secede with each changing season? We’re only 21; we got no debt owed to love, So what’s the rush? What’s the rush? What’s the rush? I mean; we DO get each other high, But on my descent from the sky, I cry. Each time. And we lie, drowning each other in one another’s’ tears. A kind curse . Forgive me. A blessing that hurts. Nostalgia is like a knife through my hippocampus sometimes. Because I don’t want to remember, But sometimes; things come up. It is unfathomable how fast the time goes by. Things are different from how they were 3 years ago. Yes, my heart does still beat rapidly at just hearing your name. Thought you were the once because you drove me insane. But; How often now – raging weeping for a ‘Do-Over’. Love lust gives and lust taketh, from...