Sometimes I wonder ...

Sometimes I ask myself  "why"?
Are we living just to die?
Why we even still alive?
What exactly are Gods' plans? Cause this life gets pretty  hard, especially being I'm a man. Seen some scary things in my 19 years; lost a homie to the streets & a homie behind bars. And my father only JUST showed up, so I'm still covered in scars: like "why you wasn't never here, when I learned to drive my first car?" Or when I graduated, that's where I'd kill to see you face. Instead I'm alone; a boy in a mans' race. Grown man beard, but still stuck with a boy face. I don't have charm. Ladies: they barely see me, and the ones that do see me, see me for 2 reasons: Money & Looks; they use my money to make themselves look good. And I never really fought but if I have to; my hooks good. And when I record; bet money that my hooks good, its wonder that I aint signed. But I thank God and hope that soon, ill be walkin' on the moon.
*Like; I come in peace, just to share my feelings. Momma told me write something discussing just how I feel. Well; these girls getting pregnant all over my state, don't sit well with me, these young fathers got too much on they plate, like; smoking, joking, "rapping", & getting women; how a boy gon care for a boy? That's like asking the easter bunny for christmas time toys. Thatll never happen! And its sad because he laid there and took it & can't take it!? Dang! these babies bout to grow up, and never know a father, you would think these young "men" would change because they've been through the same, thing.
*But let's go on to the next subject of my conversation: how everybody wanna drop out & quit getting education! Well you gon need that just in case you never make it. You need a back up plan, I'm telling you facts man. What if Wayne stopped rapping, or Denzel quit acting? But its cool cause them 2 stayed in school, if it came to that then wayne would do something greater, and Denzel something major. So I'm telling yall; Declare your major!
*And stop following drugs, stop sleeping with these girls making them think that you're in love, and stop hangin' with fellas that's just bad news. Cause you don't want your loving mother getting bad news, sad news that you was in a car bumping "Wu Tang- Cash Rules..." And another car stopped right beside your crew, you heard shots & before you could run; 5 hit you! 5 hit you! ....

So, no picture's perfect, they tell us that to make us learn.
But we just young men, a hundred racks will never earn, a spot inside the hearts of most of us youngins, what we fiend for now is: Drugs & Women. Who corrupted our youth?! And told them the way, cause if you peep the holy book this is not Gods way! Instead we sending them to church, hoping they'll find Gods way, but its  never in a building, it has be inside these children. "My, momma always said life was a box of chocolates" that's word to Forest Gump, you never know what you'll get! But instead of fighting with our young men and women about life, we gotta teach them how to spend it right.
Cause 25 to life is the wrong way to spend it. And being sent to an early grave is just real wrong. They need somebody to teach them success, so they can live long, and be strong...

That's all for now. ThankYou!