"Night that left me empty."

Maybe you were my biggest temptation. 

Maybe you were my biggest regret. 

"I'm mad I didn't.", "I shouldn't have." 

Decisions. 

Situations turn blurry when hearts race in tandem and we're in a hurry and it's the heat of the moment and your naked sitting on the edge of my king size bed. 

My eyes got blurry. 

I was nervous, 

I was sweating. 

You grabbed my face and told me you wouldn't neglect me but that was a lie because after we finished you dipped fast like Usain Bolt racing jet skis. 

You put your clothes back on and you left me. 

Feeling empty. 

Feeling further from God than I was prior to that moment. 

My breaking point, how could I break?

Up to this point, I haven't had sex for 23 years, I was waiting for marriage - 

how could I break? 

At this point; 

I'm re-finding myself. 

I'm refining myself. 

I'm redefining myself. 

I wish to stay clear of drama so I won't mention your name but in retrospect I am glad you came. 

You reminded me we all have weak spots and get tempted. 

You showed me we all have deep issues which need tending. 

You caught my attention at a moment when I wasn't very attentive. 

And then you broke my attention after you had your desires fulfilled. 

 fifteen minutes of my life, Not wasted but used at the wrong time................

(And what's sad is;

My pencil tip fades before I could complete this body of work-

Which lets me know: some memories aren't worth being unearthed.) 

-Lij